I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
