Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize