is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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