you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
