umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
