I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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