Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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