Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
