at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize