My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
