She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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