so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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