Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
