Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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