Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
