i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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