Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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