if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
