direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You are a genius and a whore.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
