i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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