we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
