You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
