I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
