As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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