i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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