I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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