so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
