I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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