Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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