Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
