I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Its about making memories worth repressing
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
