drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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