I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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