You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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