Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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