If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
