Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
