Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize