I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
