it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
