I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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