is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
