i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
