I will die if light touches me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You pole danced in your parka.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
