Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
