Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
