i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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