Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
