We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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