I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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