She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
