Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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