there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I need to align my fucking chakras
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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