i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
