I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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