i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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