When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize