Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
