yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
