The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
