Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
