Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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