Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
