Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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