That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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