i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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