You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
