so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
