I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
