last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
