OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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