you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
