Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
