Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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