Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
