so explain again why im purple
no
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
